Rapidily Reaching The Reepers Grasp

As our hourglass of time slowly depletes we reflect on our past. Good, Bad or Indifferent!
Remember as a child how time seemed to go by so slowly?, it took forever for Christmas to arrive and now it seems like its every 6 months!

Plateau's of Aging:
I couldn't wait to be 16 years old, then 18 (legal and independent), and the infamous 21! (drinking age).
Then theirs this lull between 21 and 30. I think it was intended as a testing time. We've finally graduated high school, can drive, move out, get a job, and party 24/7 on our own terms. So for 9 years we sow our oats, go in/out of relationships, drink till we blackout, and continue our education to avoid getting a job.

As we rapidly approach our 30's we feel a need to find a partner, marry, have children, and solidify our careers. Others have divorced already, some have become single parents for one reason or another, and some have been smoking dope the whole time and haven't moved from the couch to this day! The thirties is a mid way point, to try to fix the wrongs, change paths in careers once realized they have become unhappy choices. And lastly start settling for what they didn't obtain so far in there life to appease family or themselves.

Men don't generally see age as a factor to their life's because men seem to be timeless, they age as distinguished, have a double standard about dating, change careers all the time to keep their income to the level of the their own expectation. Whereas women are over speculating their futures, with who they are now, compared to what they had dreamed of as teens, their personal body changes, their romantic lives, and their future stability. Meanwhile their clock is running faster and ticking louder, to have children, if they haven't brought there DNA splice of mini me's into the world already.

Meanwhile there are those who go unnoticed as they have failed there schooling, families, some died by over indulgence, poor choices, and some checked out early because they just couldn't take what life had to offer or the lack of offers presented to them.

By forty, married men are buying fast cars to stroke there ego's, having affairs because they think they can get away with it. Which is also a way for a man to feel they are still wanted by the female population, or those who want to explore the opposing gender. It also helps them to forget their current life's circumstances. All the wild, the women are feeling a lack of validation if they didn't pursue their dreams or careers, overwhelmed by raising children, and watching their figures gravitate and spiral out of control.

The rich get plastic surgery, hire expensive trainers, and use diet guru's to slow their process down, or rather cover it up. The middle class, read books, join local health clubs, and buy every info-commerical product to chase away their failures and love handles. The less fortunate just go on and blame everyone else for their demise.Granted their are a lot of other people in the world less fortunate than us, I know, and even those within the USA nowadays with this economy hit are experiencing new lows. Even the wealthiest are finally feeling the hit, whom seem to never struggle by lucks hand to them.

You know how you always heard at one time or another that some people believe we choose our parents, friends, and paths in life?.....their full of sh*t! Trust me I didn't pick any of them, why I got dealt this hand still frustrates the heck outta me. I am grateful for life itself, but everything in my life has contained a roadblock in one way or another, trust me 90% of people I know wouldn't have gone through what i did. God always says he never gives more than you can handle. But what he doesn't say is that life is going to suck.... a lot, and its that percentage of life test you'll have to overcome before your clock stops.

Well for me 50 is just 10 months away and its the worst feeling in the world. Friends laugh saying "Oh 50 is great, heck I'm 67 and life's just beginning"...Oh please who are they kidding?!, maybe for them it is, after all they've had full lives, careers, children, grandchildren, some even great grandchildren, some have gone through menopause and most don't have a house payment anymore.

All I see at fifty is men getting colonostomy's, and women getting hormone replacements and mammograms! You're going to be Half a Century Old, you've circled the Sun 50 times now, what do you have to show for it, or accomplished? Urgh.. I can't even write anymore about it, it just depresses me.

Now you're  probably wonder where am I in all this, I'm everywhere, I've experienced all except I didn't get to have children, Plus I didn't check out because I still have faith that sooner or later something will prove worthy of being alive. Trust me my tales would shock, surprise, seem impossible, and overwhelm your hearts so I'm avoiding it completely for now. But I will say this I started all my blogs to earn some extra cash to fulfill my personal dream. I just want to celebrate one birthday (My 50Th in September 2010) in a spectacular way. See, not once in my life did I have a birthday party, no one gave, no one offered, and even at age 18 I even threw myself one, and no one came...no, it wasn't because I wasn't liked, it just happened to fall on someone else's birthday too, who could afford a massive bash and I fell through the cracks as usual. So I've decided I'd like to go to London for a week to do my photography and enhance my art skills with new ideas. So if you like my articles, theirs a donation button at the bottom for you to help me have a wonderful birthday, truly my first. if not, I understand. Because Ive "understood" for 49 plus years already, nothing much surprises me these days. But at least I'm still trying to fulfill my smallest of dreams in life.

After all, if you reach for the stars you might hit the moon and heck that's 238,857 miles closer to those stars!

You Know You're Getting Old When:

* Your favorite shows are now airing on Nick at Night!
* Your idol as a kid is now dead!
* You were a kid and asked what a 8 track was and now you're being laughed at when you talk about cassettes and albums!
* A 5th grader really is smarter than you, so you watch the show to prove them wrong!
* You finally make it on the show Survivor and their is a 92% chance you'll be voted off first for being the oldest!
* When you watch the Bachelor and know you're his perfect match but you're too old for the show! (I see Cougarville in my future...shhh, don't tell my husband)
* You have to scoot forward and use your arms to help yourself off the chair or couch!
* Having sex you choose to be on the bottom to look younger, oppose to having your face fall on your partner! (try it with a mirror ladies...it's frightening!)
* The slogan "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up" turns into "Help, my boobs have fallen and they wont bounce back up!"
*You've owned the same dog for 35 yrs! (snoopy 1, snoopy 2, snoopy 3, etc....)
*You've colored your hair so many times, even you don't know what color it really is!
*You get to the grocery store and realize your wearing your sleepers!
*You're out with a girlfriend and her kids shopping and you get mistaken for their grandmother!
*You go to the club and they don't want to see your I.D. card
*You have to purchase a Monday-Friday medicine pill box because you can't remember if you took your meds that day!
*Activia yogurt has become a daily regiment for you!
*Taking a daily nap is a schedule event!
*You got a part-time job and the manager is younger than you are!
*Your waiter asks if you would like to see the Senior's Menu!
*You buy your first Moo-Moo because it makes you look skinny! (plus you can be naked underneath it)
*You think the hottest actor of today is old enough to be your kid! or you could be arrested for statutory rape!
*Your dog stops following you around the house because he's even given up on where you're going!
*You have developed spelling dyslexia when you type now!
*Writing a blog is about the only way you're going to make new friends!
*You have to call your parents to check just to make sure they're still alive!
*You use chocolate as a replacement for estrogen!
*Your closet contains every era of fashion (60's, 70's, 80's, 90's etc...)!
*You know you're one day closer to death's door not the lottery!
*That whisker on your chin now has a friend!
*You finally realize you've been in a Mid-Life Crisis for the last 20 years!
*You start searching on eBay for a Tennis Ball Machine cause you can't throw the ball far enough for your dog!
*Your dog's breath is better than yours in the morning now!
*Your only hope for grandchildren is that your dog will have a litter!
*When Kathy Griffin is now on your A-List! (She's so God Damn Funny!)
*A brain fart is actually now a small aneurysm!
*Short term memory loss is your excuse now for everything you forgot to do that day!

Trust me I can think of ones all day long....LOL .....I'll add more daily as I think of them!