That's right, if you're rich you flaunt it, if you're poor you hide it and if you're in between you carol about it. Frankly these Holidays come and go so damn fast I cant stay caught up. I swear Christmas feels like it was just 6 months ago! Christmas to me was a joyous occassion, a time of antisipation and glee, then I grew up! Turns out its no longer about the holi-est of days but a way for stores to rid old merchandise from the previous year and sell it for a higher price. Forcing people who can't figure out what to get their neighbors and end up giving them the old yule tide "FRUIT CAKE". Barf-o-matic. Fruit cake is disgusting, who do you know that actually eats this crap? Seriously was a baker short on his last bread dough, and saw some old dried up fruit on the counter and said " Oh yummy maybe somebody will buy it!" Seriously is this guy still alive cause he should be shot!
The roads are jammed, stores are packed, kids are begging, and parents are losing their hair by the minute. Your dogs rush around daze and confused cause theirs a freaking tree in the house yet their not allowed to pee on it. The house is trimmed but the lights keep shorting out and mom's in the kitchen screaming at the cat to get off the counter, and when it does their a flour path to the catbox. Such joy!
Meanwhile the postman, garbage people, and UPS who are at your house all month long either picking up or leaving packages are hoping you'll leave them a nice tip. If you dont the following month you dont recieve your mail, your garbage is scattered across the road and the UPS guy drops a few fragile packages along the way.
Oh and joy, "Aunt cant remember her name", nor does she these days has just informed you she'll be staying an extra week. Your pregnancy test is positive, your husband suddenly "CAN" remember to put the dishes in the dishwasher, and your kids are keeping their rooms clean. Now you know time is near. You sneak out the back and step in dog poop just to have a smoke and glass of sherry to hear something shatter all over your nice clean floor.
Your youngest comes out, and asks "Mommy are you okay?" You reply in kind and say yes but meanwhile your childs beaming eyes just reminded you , YOU FORGOT to pick up the Santa Suit at the costume shop. You drop the cig, throw the sherry, grab your keys and purse, flying by everyone yelling "I'll be right back" and jump in the van. You dash like prancer to and fro, wishing the lights would just go with the flo. You hear a siren from the back but rush ahead cause its nearly 9 o'clock. The shop is closed and you in despair, but the cop says "You know my brother owns this shop". With glee in your eyes and suit in hand the cop places the ticket on your van.
On your way home, a last minute thought occurs you forgot the jellied cranberry sause.
You rush into the store and grab a few cans, meanwhile theirs a burgulary in progress. You drop to the floor and slide to the register pay with your card and creep out the door. The S.W.A.T. teams screams "Hold your fire!" as you pee your pants. Wet and cold you drive home exhausted and cry from the stress. You carry all to the door, in hopes just maybe everyones gone to bed. You slowly turn the key and lo and behold your husband has invited the whole neighborhood over for cookies and hot totties. You try to smile and shake your head, when off in the distance your fire alarm goes off cause someone FORGOT THE YAMS!
Now, Its 6am and time to stuff the turkey, prepare the dinner to serve. Relatives arrive asking to help but thats a fright, you manage it all and hear the kids opening their presents, and laughter consumes the room, everyones happy and you look like roadkill but havent a clue. 3 o 'clock finally arrives, the table is set, all sit down. The setting is perfect and ready to eat. When your cat comes flying out chasing a mouse across your gorgeous dining table. Food flys, dishes break, and "OH GOOD LORD THE APPLE PIE! screams grandma who's half baked"
With your eyes the size of sausers you look at your husband and begin to laugh, cause in just 12 months you have to do it all again!
And you do all this for Christ who was born this day?
HOGWASH!
[This is just my way of saying don't forget what the true meaning of Christmas is all about and I wish everyone Happy Holidays and A Very
Merry Christmas Everyone!]
Friday, December 25, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Deadliest Traffic Jam
On the highway of twists and turns, where patrols set traps and commuter traffic is always congested we just pray the blockage will just soon pass without a hitch. But more often than not those slow downs, delays and sirens heard off in the distance are usually forewarning us theirs trouble up ahead. But most just crank up the radio and sing along to the tune or take a cat nap knowing eventually the jam will dissolve and pass.
Sound familiar? It should you have a highway hidden within you that is about 25 feet long! Your intestines!
I know... touchy subject, well at least for a majority of us it is! Let's step back a minute and see if we remember our biology...The small intestine is divided into 3 sections: upper, jejunum, and ileum. The lining of the small intestine secretes a hormone called secretin, which stimulates the pancreas to produce digestive enzymes.The large intestine has a larger width but is only 5 feet long. The large intestine is divided into 6 parts: cecum, ascending colon, transverse colon, descending colon, sigmoid colon, and rectum. Whew!
Now if you eat perfectly throughout life these connected sections should never give you a problem but lets face it 99% of humans don't, and the pesticides, agricultural farming and added hormones don't help either.
Most of us eat crappy diets but do you pour bacon fat down your kitchen drain? No! At least you better not otherwise, your septic tank is going to need service very soon or backup and flood your backyard. So why do we continue to eat that double-patty hamburger with cheese, mayo, special sauce, and bacon ... which has 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, and 370 mg of sodium? Oh I see, convenience right? Or how about that yummy pizza every weekend? Meat Lover's: 890 calories, 49 grams of fat. The fact is that society lost its way a long time ago. And to try and maintain a healthy diet is nearly impossible these days. Sure you can be a vegan or a vegetarian but in every short cut or avoidance of proteins or flesh is another misfire in the chambers of your pistons.
All these problems can be seen obviously if we just look back and check to see what our exhaust pipe left behind. We think of ourselves as indestructible in our youth, even into our 20's but behind the scenes future scenarios are setting stage, little twangs and pings are generating enough gas to light a fire under your a**, so stop ignoring things!
Everybody always laugh when someone says "Yeah corn goes in and comes out the same", ever really wonder why? Well i did some research and here's what I found out. Man in primitive times had large molars and incisors and they chewed there food much better, they also were adapted to eating a lot more plant matter than meat. So through evolution our digestive tracts have also changed. Eating corn isn't really natural for us, eating corn only came about a few thousand years ago, we ate maize a lot but it is mashed. So our digestive track can use it and pass it along in this form. Plus we have much smaller teeth than primitive man did and we generally do not chew our foods well, so while some kernels are chewed many are just swallowed instead.
Here is a mini list of foods that are extremely hard on our digestive track:
Corn
Cow's milk (Lactose)
Broccoli
Hydrogenated oils
Processed meat
Red Meat
Gluten
Pepper (doesn't digest, but tastes great)
Does your poop smell? Does your partner/wife have to open a window after you've been in the bathroom? Does your dog hide under the furniture in fear of being blamed for that smell? Then honey you've got a problem! Your poop shouldn't smell, fact is if it's gooey, sticky, slimy, smelly, it's unhealthy! If it looks like a deer has been in your house then you are not consuming enough fiber or water! Constipation? means problems related to stress and diet. Runny?, you either have some sort of infection or illness, or may have consumed something that your body doesn't like. Does it take forever?, this isn't necessarily bad. Some folks just have slow pipes. Ideally, you’ll have a bowel movement daily around the same time. But there are some people who simply don’t, yet they’re healthy. If it hurts, barring a legitimate health condition, there again you may simply not be getting enough fiber and water in your diet.
It seems many symptoms are related to fiber and water. I know this has been a major issue throughout my lifetime, well at least since I left home at the age of 15. I never really pooped on a daily basis, I figured maybe I just used up everything that went in, or because I couldn't afford food much in my early days, my body just couldn't sacrifice letting go of anything. I got polyps by late 20's. How I knew I had a polyp was because I always look behind and accounted for everything coming out and noticed an indentation along the side of my bowel movement and had some pain while doing so. It turned out and I thankfully spoke to my doctor who later confirmed this.I had diverticulitis many times in my thirties.
My grandmother died of colon cancer. So now if i feel symptomatic I know I need fiber and water a.s.a.p. and generally have been able to keep them under control. In between those I also had IBS(Irritable Bowel Syndrome) And because I suffered these aliments so early it is also a warning sign that I am a prime candidate for colon cancer partly because of my lack of knowledge and hereditary is playing a role in this.
Seriously if unattended, or not nurtured, it will be your last traffic jam in life. Because ugly little things like Colon Cancer, Diverticulitis, Polyps, feed on your poor judgments in consumption and some of these are simply hereditary so please check with your families and beware of the possibilities of what your future may hold for you.
Helpful Info to Memorize:
Diverticulitis:
Common signs and symptoms of Diverticulitis is pain that's often sudden, severe, and located in the lower left side of the abdomen. Less commonly, abdominal pain may be mild at first, and become worse over several days, possibly fluctuating in intensity, Change in bowel habits, Abdominal tenderness,
Fever, Nausea and vomiting, Constipation, Diarrhea,
Less common signs and symptoms of diverticulitis may include: Bloating, Bleeding from your rectum
Colon Polyps
A polyp is a growth that occurs in the colon and other organs. These growths, or fleshy tumors, are shaped like a mushroom or a dome-like button, and occur on the inside lining of the colon. They may be as small as a tiny pea or larger than a plum. Colon polyps start out as benign tumors but in time may become malignant. The larger the polyp, the more likely it is to contain cancer cells.
IBS: Symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Irritable bowel syndrome is characterized by a group of symptoms in which abdominal pain or discomfort is associated with a change in bowel pattern, such as loose or more frequent bowel movements, diarrhea, and/or constipation. Some specific symptoms are: stool frequency (may be defined as greater than 3 bowel movements per day and less than 3 bowel movements per week),Abnormal stool form (lumpy/hard or loose/watery stool). Abnormal stool passage (straining, urgency, or feeling of incomplete evacuation)Passage of mucus, Bloating or feeling of abdominal distension.
Irritable bowel syndrome is one of the most common ailments of the intestines and affects an estimated 15% of the United States population. It is the most common disease diagnosed by doctors.
Crohn's Disease,
The most common symptoms of Crohn's disease are: loss of appetite, abdominal pain, often in the lower right area, joint pain, fatigue, green stool, sores around the anal area and diarrhea. Sometimes rectal bleeding, weight loss, and fever may occur. Bleeding may be serious and persistent, leading to anemia.
Also called ileitis or regional enteritisis or colitis, is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), the general name for diseases that cause inflammation in the intestines.
These are just a few I know of, so run a search for the symptoms you're having and you can usually find the info to lead you in the right direction, as always talk to your personal physician. Dont ever feel embarrassed we all have butts and a little pain to check a problem out now might just safe your life!
Sound familiar? It should you have a highway hidden within you that is about 25 feet long! Your intestines!
I know... touchy subject, well at least for a majority of us it is! Let's step back a minute and see if we remember our biology...The small intestine is divided into 3 sections: upper, jejunum, and ileum. The lining of the small intestine secretes a hormone called secretin, which stimulates the pancreas to produce digestive enzymes.The large intestine has a larger width but is only 5 feet long. The large intestine is divided into 6 parts: cecum, ascending colon, transverse colon, descending colon, sigmoid colon, and rectum. Whew!
Now if you eat perfectly throughout life these connected sections should never give you a problem but lets face it 99% of humans don't, and the pesticides, agricultural farming and added hormones don't help either.
Most of us eat crappy diets but do you pour bacon fat down your kitchen drain? No! At least you better not otherwise, your septic tank is going to need service very soon or backup and flood your backyard. So why do we continue to eat that double-patty hamburger with cheese, mayo, special sauce, and bacon ... which has 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, and 370 mg of sodium? Oh I see, convenience right? Or how about that yummy pizza every weekend? Meat Lover's: 890 calories, 49 grams of fat. The fact is that society lost its way a long time ago. And to try and maintain a healthy diet is nearly impossible these days. Sure you can be a vegan or a vegetarian but in every short cut or avoidance of proteins or flesh is another misfire in the chambers of your pistons.
All these problems can be seen obviously if we just look back and check to see what our exhaust pipe left behind. We think of ourselves as indestructible in our youth, even into our 20's but behind the scenes future scenarios are setting stage, little twangs and pings are generating enough gas to light a fire under your a**, so stop ignoring things!
Everybody always laugh when someone says "Yeah corn goes in and comes out the same", ever really wonder why? Well i did some research and here's what I found out. Man in primitive times had large molars and incisors and they chewed there food much better, they also were adapted to eating a lot more plant matter than meat. So through evolution our digestive tracts have also changed. Eating corn isn't really natural for us, eating corn only came about a few thousand years ago, we ate maize a lot but it is mashed. So our digestive track can use it and pass it along in this form. Plus we have much smaller teeth than primitive man did and we generally do not chew our foods well, so while some kernels are chewed many are just swallowed instead.
Here is a mini list of foods that are extremely hard on our digestive track:
Corn
Cow's milk (Lactose)
Broccoli
Hydrogenated oils
Processed meat
Red Meat
Gluten
Pepper (doesn't digest, but tastes great)
Does your poop smell? Does your partner/wife have to open a window after you've been in the bathroom? Does your dog hide under the furniture in fear of being blamed for that smell? Then honey you've got a problem! Your poop shouldn't smell, fact is if it's gooey, sticky, slimy, smelly, it's unhealthy! If it looks like a deer has been in your house then you are not consuming enough fiber or water! Constipation? means problems related to stress and diet. Runny?, you either have some sort of infection or illness, or may have consumed something that your body doesn't like. Does it take forever?, this isn't necessarily bad. Some folks just have slow pipes. Ideally, you’ll have a bowel movement daily around the same time. But there are some people who simply don’t, yet they’re healthy. If it hurts, barring a legitimate health condition, there again you may simply not be getting enough fiber and water in your diet.
It seems many symptoms are related to fiber and water. I know this has been a major issue throughout my lifetime, well at least since I left home at the age of 15. I never really pooped on a daily basis, I figured maybe I just used up everything that went in, or because I couldn't afford food much in my early days, my body just couldn't sacrifice letting go of anything. I got polyps by late 20's. How I knew I had a polyp was because I always look behind and accounted for everything coming out and noticed an indentation along the side of my bowel movement and had some pain while doing so. It turned out and I thankfully spoke to my doctor who later confirmed this.I had diverticulitis many times in my thirties.
My grandmother died of colon cancer. So now if i feel symptomatic I know I need fiber and water a.s.a.p. and generally have been able to keep them under control. In between those I also had IBS(Irritable Bowel Syndrome) And because I suffered these aliments so early it is also a warning sign that I am a prime candidate for colon cancer partly because of my lack of knowledge and hereditary is playing a role in this.
Seriously if unattended, or not nurtured, it will be your last traffic jam in life. Because ugly little things like Colon Cancer, Diverticulitis, Polyps, feed on your poor judgments in consumption and some of these are simply hereditary so please check with your families and beware of the possibilities of what your future may hold for you.
Helpful Info to Memorize:
Diverticulitis:
Common signs and symptoms of Diverticulitis is pain that's often sudden, severe, and located in the lower left side of the abdomen. Less commonly, abdominal pain may be mild at first, and become worse over several days, possibly fluctuating in intensity, Change in bowel habits, Abdominal tenderness,
Fever, Nausea and vomiting, Constipation, Diarrhea,
Less common signs and symptoms of diverticulitis may include: Bloating, Bleeding from your rectum
Colon Polyps
A polyp is a growth that occurs in the colon and other organs. These growths, or fleshy tumors, are shaped like a mushroom or a dome-like button, and occur on the inside lining of the colon. They may be as small as a tiny pea or larger than a plum. Colon polyps start out as benign tumors but in time may become malignant. The larger the polyp, the more likely it is to contain cancer cells.
IBS: Symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Irritable bowel syndrome is characterized by a group of symptoms in which abdominal pain or discomfort is associated with a change in bowel pattern, such as loose or more frequent bowel movements, diarrhea, and/or constipation. Some specific symptoms are: stool frequency (may be defined as greater than 3 bowel movements per day and less than 3 bowel movements per week),Abnormal stool form (lumpy/hard or loose/watery stool). Abnormal stool passage (straining, urgency, or feeling of incomplete evacuation)Passage of mucus, Bloating or feeling of abdominal distension.
Irritable bowel syndrome is one of the most common ailments of the intestines and affects an estimated 15% of the United States population. It is the most common disease diagnosed by doctors.
Crohn's Disease,
The most common symptoms of Crohn's disease are: loss of appetite, abdominal pain, often in the lower right area, joint pain, fatigue, green stool, sores around the anal area and diarrhea. Sometimes rectal bleeding, weight loss, and fever may occur. Bleeding may be serious and persistent, leading to anemia.
Also called ileitis or regional enteritisis or colitis, is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), the general name for diseases that cause inflammation in the intestines.
These are just a few I know of, so run a search for the symptoms you're having and you can usually find the info to lead you in the right direction, as always talk to your personal physician. Dont ever feel embarrassed we all have butts and a little pain to check a problem out now might just safe your life!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Rapidily Reaching The Reepers Grasp
As our hourglass of time slowly depletes we reflect on our past. Good, Bad or Indifferent!
Remember as a child how time seemed to go by so slowly?, it took forever for Christmas to arrive and now it seems like its every 6 months!
Plateau's of Aging:
I couldn't wait to be 16 years old, then 18 (legal and independent), and the infamous 21! (drinking age).
Then theirs this lull between 21 and 30. I think it was intended as a testing time. We've finally graduated high school, can drive, move out, get a job, and party 24/7 on our own terms. So for 9 years we sow our oats, go in/out of relationships, drink till we blackout, and continue our education to avoid getting a job.
As we rapidly approach our 30's we feel a need to find a partner, marry, have children, and solidify our careers. Others have divorced already, some have become single parents for one reason or another, and some have been smoking dope the whole time and haven't moved from the couch to this day! The thirties is a mid way point, to try to fix the wrongs, change paths in careers once realized they have become unhappy choices. And lastly start settling for what they didn't obtain so far in there life to appease family or themselves.
Men don't generally see age as a factor to their life's because men seem to be timeless, they age as distinguished, have a double standard about dating, change careers all the time to keep their income to the level of the their own expectation. Whereas women are over speculating their futures, with who they are now, compared to what they had dreamed of as teens, their personal body changes, their romantic lives, and their future stability. Meanwhile their clock is running faster and ticking louder, to have children, if they haven't brought there DNA splice of mini me's into the world already.
Meanwhile there are those who go unnoticed as they have failed there schooling, families, some died by over indulgence, poor choices, and some checked out early because they just couldn't take what life had to offer or the lack of offers presented to them.
By forty, married men are buying fast cars to stroke there ego's, having affairs because they think they can get away with it. Which is also a way for a man to feel they are still wanted by the female population, or those who want to explore the opposing gender. It also helps them to forget their current life's circumstances. All the wild, the women are feeling a lack of validation if they didn't pursue their dreams or careers, overwhelmed by raising children, and watching their figures gravitate and spiral out of control.
The rich get plastic surgery, hire expensive trainers, and use diet guru's to slow their process down, or rather cover it up. The middle class, read books, join local health clubs, and buy every info-commerical product to chase away their failures and love handles. The less fortunate just go on and blame everyone else for their demise.Granted their are a lot of other people in the world less fortunate than us, I know, and even those within the USA nowadays with this economy hit are experiencing new lows. Even the wealthiest are finally feeling the hit, whom seem to never struggle by lucks hand to them.
You know how you always heard at one time or another that some people believe we choose our parents, friends, and paths in life?.....their full of sh*t! Trust me I didn't pick any of them, why I got dealt this hand still frustrates the heck outta me. I am grateful for life itself, but everything in my life has contained a roadblock in one way or another, trust me 90% of people I know wouldn't have gone through what i did. God always says he never gives more than you can handle. But what he doesn't say is that life is going to suck.... a lot, and its that percentage of life test you'll have to overcome before your clock stops.
Well for me 50 is just 10 months away and its the worst feeling in the world. Friends laugh saying "Oh 50 is great, heck I'm 67 and life's just beginning"...Oh please who are they kidding?!, maybe for them it is, after all they've had full lives, careers, children, grandchildren, some even great grandchildren, some have gone through menopause and most don't have a house payment anymore.
All I see at fifty is men getting colonostomy's, and women getting hormone replacements and mammograms! You're going to be Half a Century Old, you've circled the Sun 50 times now, what do you have to show for it, or accomplished? Urgh.. I can't even write anymore about it, it just depresses me.
Now you're probably wonder where am I in all this, I'm everywhere, I've experienced all except I didn't get to have children, Plus I didn't check out because I still have faith that sooner or later something will prove worthy of being alive. Trust me my tales would shock, surprise, seem impossible, and overwhelm your hearts so I'm avoiding it completely for now. But I will say this I started all my blogs to earn some extra cash to fulfill my personal dream. I just want to celebrate one birthday (My 50Th in September 2010) in a spectacular way. See, not once in my life did I have a birthday party, no one gave, no one offered, and even at age 18 I even threw myself one, and no one came...no, it wasn't because I wasn't liked, it just happened to fall on someone else's birthday too, who could afford a massive bash and I fell through the cracks as usual. So I've decided I'd like to go to London for a week to do my photography and enhance my art skills with new ideas. So if you like my articles, theirs a donation button at the bottom for you to help me have a wonderful birthday, truly my first. if not, I understand. Because Ive "understood" for 49 plus years already, nothing much surprises me these days. But at least I'm still trying to fulfill my smallest of dreams in life.
After all, if you reach for the stars you might hit the moon and heck that's 238,857 miles closer to those stars!
Remember as a child how time seemed to go by so slowly?, it took forever for Christmas to arrive and now it seems like its every 6 months!
Plateau's of Aging:
I couldn't wait to be 16 years old, then 18 (legal and independent), and the infamous 21! (drinking age).
Then theirs this lull between 21 and 30. I think it was intended as a testing time. We've finally graduated high school, can drive, move out, get a job, and party 24/7 on our own terms. So for 9 years we sow our oats, go in/out of relationships, drink till we blackout, and continue our education to avoid getting a job.
As we rapidly approach our 30's we feel a need to find a partner, marry, have children, and solidify our careers. Others have divorced already, some have become single parents for one reason or another, and some have been smoking dope the whole time and haven't moved from the couch to this day! The thirties is a mid way point, to try to fix the wrongs, change paths in careers once realized they have become unhappy choices. And lastly start settling for what they didn't obtain so far in there life to appease family or themselves.
Men don't generally see age as a factor to their life's because men seem to be timeless, they age as distinguished, have a double standard about dating, change careers all the time to keep their income to the level of the their own expectation. Whereas women are over speculating their futures, with who they are now, compared to what they had dreamed of as teens, their personal body changes, their romantic lives, and their future stability. Meanwhile their clock is running faster and ticking louder, to have children, if they haven't brought there DNA splice of mini me's into the world already.
Meanwhile there are those who go unnoticed as they have failed there schooling, families, some died by over indulgence, poor choices, and some checked out early because they just couldn't take what life had to offer or the lack of offers presented to them.
By forty, married men are buying fast cars to stroke there ego's, having affairs because they think they can get away with it. Which is also a way for a man to feel they are still wanted by the female population, or those who want to explore the opposing gender. It also helps them to forget their current life's circumstances. All the wild, the women are feeling a lack of validation if they didn't pursue their dreams or careers, overwhelmed by raising children, and watching their figures gravitate and spiral out of control.
The rich get plastic surgery, hire expensive trainers, and use diet guru's to slow their process down, or rather cover it up. The middle class, read books, join local health clubs, and buy every info-commerical product to chase away their failures and love handles. The less fortunate just go on and blame everyone else for their demise.Granted their are a lot of other people in the world less fortunate than us, I know, and even those within the USA nowadays with this economy hit are experiencing new lows. Even the wealthiest are finally feeling the hit, whom seem to never struggle by lucks hand to them.
You know how you always heard at one time or another that some people believe we choose our parents, friends, and paths in life?.....their full of sh*t! Trust me I didn't pick any of them, why I got dealt this hand still frustrates the heck outta me. I am grateful for life itself, but everything in my life has contained a roadblock in one way or another, trust me 90% of people I know wouldn't have gone through what i did. God always says he never gives more than you can handle. But what he doesn't say is that life is going to suck.... a lot, and its that percentage of life test you'll have to overcome before your clock stops.
Well for me 50 is just 10 months away and its the worst feeling in the world. Friends laugh saying "Oh 50 is great, heck I'm 67 and life's just beginning"...Oh please who are they kidding?!, maybe for them it is, after all they've had full lives, careers, children, grandchildren, some even great grandchildren, some have gone through menopause and most don't have a house payment anymore.
All I see at fifty is men getting colonostomy's, and women getting hormone replacements and mammograms! You're going to be Half a Century Old, you've circled the Sun 50 times now, what do you have to show for it, or accomplished? Urgh.. I can't even write anymore about it, it just depresses me.
Now you're probably wonder where am I in all this, I'm everywhere, I've experienced all except I didn't get to have children, Plus I didn't check out because I still have faith that sooner or later something will prove worthy of being alive. Trust me my tales would shock, surprise, seem impossible, and overwhelm your hearts so I'm avoiding it completely for now. But I will say this I started all my blogs to earn some extra cash to fulfill my personal dream. I just want to celebrate one birthday (My 50Th in September 2010) in a spectacular way. See, not once in my life did I have a birthday party, no one gave, no one offered, and even at age 18 I even threw myself one, and no one came...no, it wasn't because I wasn't liked, it just happened to fall on someone else's birthday too, who could afford a massive bash and I fell through the cracks as usual. So I've decided I'd like to go to London for a week to do my photography and enhance my art skills with new ideas. So if you like my articles, theirs a donation button at the bottom for you to help me have a wonderful birthday, truly my first. if not, I understand. Because Ive "understood" for 49 plus years already, nothing much surprises me these days. But at least I'm still trying to fulfill my smallest of dreams in life.
After all, if you reach for the stars you might hit the moon and heck that's 238,857 miles closer to those stars!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thank you for your support
Thank you for your support, as you know blogging can be very time consuming and we occassionally get writer's block from time to time. If you have any suggestions for topics I might wish to blog about, feel free to send me an email to lisamakessense@yahoo.com Please add "Suggestions" in the Subject Line. I will try to add your topic as soon as possible.
Again thank you so much for your support and donation(s).
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http://thetruthaboutgettingolder.blogspot.com/
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Came to this page by mistake?
Sorry, just click your back button.
Again thank you so much for your support and donation(s).
You may return to the main page by clicking here:
http://thetruthaboutgettingolder.blogspot.com/
Haven't made a donation yet?
Came to this page by mistake?
Sorry, just click your back button.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Snorts and Snarfs of Life
I never use to snore, at least none of my boyfriends never complained. But then around age 40 I started getting serious complaints from my husband! I didnt believe him and figured he was just annoyed I woke him up cause the tv was too loud. Turns out he was right. At first he'd try to get me to roll over which worked for a awhile, then he'd say "Wake up your snoring!" but id be asleep and argue back "Im not snoring!" Then he pull the pillows out from under my head. this went on for yrs. I thought maybe it was because I broke my nose 10 days before our wedding, or a sinusitis issue, or a weight gain factor. Well I lost the weight back then and it didnt change the snoring problem at all. Years passed by and some weight came back and now he just gets up in the middle of the night and finishes sleeping on the couch. Occassionally still today I hear him say he has to close the door cause he can still hear me snoring from out there. How embarrassing, eh?!
So I did some research and snoring can be a dangerous thing especially those who are overweight, sleep apnea for one! Well, that scared the hell outta me! Cause by the time I start to snore he'd be at work and if sleep apnea occurs he's gonna come home and find me dead! Turns out we snore more as we get older because our muscles become increasingly flaccid with age. Gaining weight can increase snoring because fat deposits accumulate in the tissues of the airway, making them heavier so they fall more into the line of airflow. So I've added some links below for those like myself who suffer this issue:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/snoring/DS00297/DSECTION=causes
http://www.sleepapnea.org/info/index.html
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/SleepApnea/SleepApnea_WhatIs.html
So hopefully your partner loves you enough to stick around, put up with, or will help medically so you two both can get a full night rest. For me it became a guilt thing, see he goes to bed at 11pm and i started to go to bed later to avoid waking him up. First it was 1 a.m., then 2 a.m., then 4 a.m. and now its like 5 a.m. Fortunately I work from home so I can deal with this odd schedule. I wake around 11-12 and bedtime is about 4-5 a.m. So now I get uninterrupted sleep and he only suffers about 1 hour, but at least now he doesnt cuss me out for waking him up, Ive become more of an alarm clock to him.
So I did some research and snoring can be a dangerous thing especially those who are overweight, sleep apnea for one! Well, that scared the hell outta me! Cause by the time I start to snore he'd be at work and if sleep apnea occurs he's gonna come home and find me dead! Turns out we snore more as we get older because our muscles become increasingly flaccid with age. Gaining weight can increase snoring because fat deposits accumulate in the tissues of the airway, making them heavier so they fall more into the line of airflow. So I've added some links below for those like myself who suffer this issue:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/snoring/DS00297/DSECTION=causes
http://www.sleepapnea.org/info/index.html
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/SleepApnea/SleepApnea_WhatIs.html
So hopefully your partner loves you enough to stick around, put up with, or will help medically so you two both can get a full night rest. For me it became a guilt thing, see he goes to bed at 11pm and i started to go to bed later to avoid waking him up. First it was 1 a.m., then 2 a.m., then 4 a.m. and now its like 5 a.m. Fortunately I work from home so I can deal with this odd schedule. I wake around 11-12 and bedtime is about 4-5 a.m. So now I get uninterrupted sleep and he only suffers about 1 hour, but at least now he doesnt cuss me out for waking him up, Ive become more of an alarm clock to him.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Is Your Sexy Taunt Figure Heading South
It doesn't last honey! Men I advise you to turn away for this article cause the truth ain't pretty! But then again maybe you need to know the truth so you can prepare and ensure your membership at the golf course is paid in full for life when your partner/wife starts complaining.
Lets go from top to bottom!
Your beautiful lustrous hair starts thinning, more hair in your brush daily, starts to look dullish, and tends not to be as co-operative. Now trust me this sucks already for me as I always had thin hair, so frankly I'm growing my hair really long right now so when they cut it off I can make a wig of it....lol Hey ya never know whats coming now the pipeline.
Ah yes the face, its the first impression you make to the world, so if you felt ugly as a kid likelihood its gonna come back and haunt ya in your latter years as well! The nose widens more, the eyelids start to droop, the under eye bags stand out more, crows feet aren't funny anymore, and those laugh line are not funny at all. The cheeks start to collaspe when you were in your 30's and those lips are definately looking thinner my dear. Pimples? Oh yes the enemy we all dealt with as teens never really goes away, especially when your hormones are fluxing all the time after 40. So stock up on Proactiv Solution Acne Treatment. Lastly your smile! Now some folks are so frickin lucky! But many of us aren't and truth is a lot is gonna happen in your mouth as you climb over the hill of life. Ever hear that saying" You're looking a little long in the tooth these days my dear"... Its a real thing your gums will reseed, in fact nearly 95 percent of residents have tooth decay and/or gum disease. Now dental hygiene is more important than ever cause either your looking at dentures in your future or missing teeth, along with halitosis cause remember our bodies are now just decaying away. Now life is all about prevention and trying to slow down the process that we really can't control in our life.
Your eyesight will change dramatically after age 30, I had perfect sight then when I hit 30 or so, i noticed it was a little hardier to read smaller print, so like most I went out and bought reading glasses just for the computer or newspaper, I went from 1.50 range reading glasses to now 3.50 reading glasses. Seriously Im wondering if glasses actually worsen sight! Seriously God forbid they break or I cant find them cause Im just S.O.L. Just trying to read the back of a box of rice a roni can be unbareable!
Moving along..oh wait i forgot something...also double chins are looking for a place to rest so keep your chin up! And sneaky one haired whiskers on the chin are a nightmare on a first date!
Ahhh the arms what I like to call the Oprah Arms (ya know extend arm out look in mirror and wiggle your arm and watch the sagging flab act like jello! (Sorry Oprah, love ya doll but I also hear your canceling your show next year). Onto the bustline, or should I say fun bags, cans, rack, puppies, jimmies, charlies, boobies, titties, ta-tas, headlights, bazooms, dairies, boulders, melons, zepplins! Whether large or small these mammary glands are going to FALL! Darn gravity! And if you gain weight then they will reside also under your armpits. (the test: flap your arms like a chicken...notice they dont hit your sides first?!) Another test for the gravity factor is stick a pencil under your brest if it falls you LUCKY, but if it sicks your SCREWED already and gravity's got your number!
Moving onward and downward well for some who have had children its a far worse scenario, I haven't, not for the lack of trying and I suppose my clock has basically fallen out of warranty by now! But even so you can relate because now is about the time when our taunt little ab muscles decide to unravel and flab out. Yes the old pouch, if we bared kanagroos it would be normal but no we just get to look like we have beer belly's like men, This is truly the hardest area to control in the afterlife of 30 yrs old. And the worst it gets the longer it will take to get them back into shape. But I'll hold off on that discussion for another post about fitness and dieting later. Oh and ladies get ready for when you go bathing suit shopping cause when you ask where the bikinis are most likely the clerk will direct you to the one pc section.
Now the delicate conversation women dont generally discuss with their partner freely is what I and Chelsea Handler call the peekachoo and coslopis areas. (Love ya Chelsea!) Ladies get your tools out cause there's going to be more routine mowing than usual. Nowadays most of us ladies go bare for convenience, looks, and fragrance...lol. Now depending on usage this info could go a long ways but I'll refrain for now.
The buttocks and legs, the eye chatcher for 99% men. Now I once had a perfect bubble butt, then one day I turned around and damn it fell and traveled west and east at the same time. Maybe we sit more as we age, or maybe we lose fat their and it shifts to the front lower belly but it definately isnt where it use to be. BUT men too lose their ass's as well, just ask my hubby. The famous scare of all is celloulite (whew luckily not me) which fat turns into dimples or the ugle red vein syndrome shows up. Dimples on your face is cute dimples on your thighs is horrifying. Now our legs due to hormones will eventually no longer grow hair....yeah no more shaving (at least thats what my mother in law tells me) but currently their just thicker, darker and more annoying to reach (that pouch gets in the way).
Lastly the feet, our support system. Be kind to these gentle creatures because truly they can say a lot about your health. Yes, your feet change with age they get flatter and wider. I wore size 8 most of my life then they went to a 9, 9w and sometimes due to style a 10...Good Grief! Problems can arise so beware of simple things like: Swollen ankles: It is caused by build up of fluid in the tissues. The extra fluid can lead to a rapid increase in weight over a short period of time. Painless swelling of the feet and ankles is a common problem, particularly among older people. Abnormal buildup of fluid in the ankles, feet, and legs is called peripheral edema. See detailed information below for a list of 98 causes of ankle swelling at: http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/symptoms/ankle_swelling/causes.htm including diseases and drug side effect causes, or even Diabetes, Circulatory disorders, Heart failure, and Lymphatic diseases. Our toenails say alot too so keep an eye on those too.
Well that pretty much covers the basics. Now granted their is always the alternative of plastic surgery, botox and temporary diet fixes which only the rich can afford. I will encompass those practices throughout this blog so bare with me I'm not the fastest typist in the world.
Isnt life fun......NOT! Well I have plenty of little tid bits that relate to all these wonderful adventures you have to look forward to, what they mean, and how to live with them so stay tuned in and follow my journal through the truth about getting older.
Be sure to take the weekly poll (located to your left) to make improvements and encourage more followers to this blogspot.
Lets go from top to bottom!
Your beautiful lustrous hair starts thinning, more hair in your brush daily, starts to look dullish, and tends not to be as co-operative. Now trust me this sucks already for me as I always had thin hair, so frankly I'm growing my hair really long right now so when they cut it off I can make a wig of it....lol Hey ya never know whats coming now the pipeline.
Ah yes the face, its the first impression you make to the world, so if you felt ugly as a kid likelihood its gonna come back and haunt ya in your latter years as well! The nose widens more, the eyelids start to droop, the under eye bags stand out more, crows feet aren't funny anymore, and those laugh line are not funny at all. The cheeks start to collaspe when you were in your 30's and those lips are definately looking thinner my dear. Pimples? Oh yes the enemy we all dealt with as teens never really goes away, especially when your hormones are fluxing all the time after 40. So stock up on Proactiv Solution Acne Treatment. Lastly your smile! Now some folks are so frickin lucky! But many of us aren't and truth is a lot is gonna happen in your mouth as you climb over the hill of life. Ever hear that saying" You're looking a little long in the tooth these days my dear"... Its a real thing your gums will reseed, in fact nearly 95 percent of residents have tooth decay and/or gum disease. Now dental hygiene is more important than ever cause either your looking at dentures in your future or missing teeth, along with halitosis cause remember our bodies are now just decaying away. Now life is all about prevention and trying to slow down the process that we really can't control in our life.
Your eyesight will change dramatically after age 30, I had perfect sight then when I hit 30 or so, i noticed it was a little hardier to read smaller print, so like most I went out and bought reading glasses just for the computer or newspaper, I went from 1.50 range reading glasses to now 3.50 reading glasses. Seriously Im wondering if glasses actually worsen sight! Seriously God forbid they break or I cant find them cause Im just S.O.L. Just trying to read the back of a box of rice a roni can be unbareable!
Moving along..oh wait i forgot something...also double chins are looking for a place to rest so keep your chin up! And sneaky one haired whiskers on the chin are a nightmare on a first date!
Ahhh the arms what I like to call the Oprah Arms (ya know extend arm out look in mirror and wiggle your arm and watch the sagging flab act like jello! (Sorry Oprah, love ya doll but I also hear your canceling your show next year). Onto the bustline, or should I say fun bags, cans, rack, puppies, jimmies, charlies, boobies, titties, ta-tas, headlights, bazooms, dairies, boulders, melons, zepplins! Whether large or small these mammary glands are going to FALL! Darn gravity! And if you gain weight then they will reside also under your armpits. (the test: flap your arms like a chicken...notice they dont hit your sides first?!) Another test for the gravity factor is stick a pencil under your brest if it falls you LUCKY, but if it sicks your SCREWED already and gravity's got your number!
Moving onward and downward well for some who have had children its a far worse scenario, I haven't, not for the lack of trying and I suppose my clock has basically fallen out of warranty by now! But even so you can relate because now is about the time when our taunt little ab muscles decide to unravel and flab out. Yes the old pouch, if we bared kanagroos it would be normal but no we just get to look like we have beer belly's like men, This is truly the hardest area to control in the afterlife of 30 yrs old. And the worst it gets the longer it will take to get them back into shape. But I'll hold off on that discussion for another post about fitness and dieting later. Oh and ladies get ready for when you go bathing suit shopping cause when you ask where the bikinis are most likely the clerk will direct you to the one pc section.
Now the delicate conversation women dont generally discuss with their partner freely is what I and Chelsea Handler call the peekachoo and coslopis areas. (Love ya Chelsea!) Ladies get your tools out cause there's going to be more routine mowing than usual. Nowadays most of us ladies go bare for convenience, looks, and fragrance...lol. Now depending on usage this info could go a long ways but I'll refrain for now.
The buttocks and legs, the eye chatcher for 99% men. Now I once had a perfect bubble butt, then one day I turned around and damn it fell and traveled west and east at the same time. Maybe we sit more as we age, or maybe we lose fat their and it shifts to the front lower belly but it definately isnt where it use to be. BUT men too lose their ass's as well, just ask my hubby. The famous scare of all is celloulite (whew luckily not me) which fat turns into dimples or the ugle red vein syndrome shows up. Dimples on your face is cute dimples on your thighs is horrifying. Now our legs due to hormones will eventually no longer grow hair....yeah no more shaving (at least thats what my mother in law tells me) but currently their just thicker, darker and more annoying to reach (that pouch gets in the way).
Lastly the feet, our support system. Be kind to these gentle creatures because truly they can say a lot about your health. Yes, your feet change with age they get flatter and wider. I wore size 8 most of my life then they went to a 9, 9w and sometimes due to style a 10...Good Grief! Problems can arise so beware of simple things like: Swollen ankles: It is caused by build up of fluid in the tissues. The extra fluid can lead to a rapid increase in weight over a short period of time. Painless swelling of the feet and ankles is a common problem, particularly among older people. Abnormal buildup of fluid in the ankles, feet, and legs is called peripheral edema. See detailed information below for a list of 98 causes of ankle swelling at: http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/symptoms/ankle_swelling/causes.htm including diseases and drug side effect causes, or even Diabetes, Circulatory disorders, Heart failure, and Lymphatic diseases. Our toenails say alot too so keep an eye on those too.
Well that pretty much covers the basics. Now granted their is always the alternative of plastic surgery, botox and temporary diet fixes which only the rich can afford. I will encompass those practices throughout this blog so bare with me I'm not the fastest typist in the world.
Isnt life fun......NOT! Well I have plenty of little tid bits that relate to all these wonderful adventures you have to look forward to, what they mean, and how to live with them so stay tuned in and follow my journal through the truth about getting older.
Be sure to take the weekly poll (located to your left) to make improvements and encourage more followers to this blogspot.
You Know You're Getting Old When:
* Your favorite shows are now airing on Nick at Night!
* Your idol as a kid is now dead!
* You were a kid and asked what a 8 track was and now you're being laughed at when you talk about cassettes and albums!
* A 5th grader really is smarter than you, so you watch the show to prove them wrong!
* You finally make it on the show Survivor and their is a 92% chance you'll be voted off first for being the oldest!
* When you watch the Bachelor and know you're his perfect match but you're too old for the show! (I see Cougarville in my future...shhh, don't tell my husband)
* You have to scoot forward and use your arms to help yourself off the chair or couch!
* Having sex you choose to be on the bottom to look younger, oppose to having your face fall on your partner! (try it with a mirror ladies...it's frightening!)
* The slogan "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up" turns into "Help, my boobs have fallen and they wont bounce back up!"
*You've owned the same dog for 35 yrs! (snoopy 1, snoopy 2, snoopy 3, etc....)
*You've colored your hair so many times, even you don't know what color it really is!
*You get to the grocery store and realize your wearing your sleepers!
*You're out with a girlfriend and her kids shopping and you get mistaken for their grandmother!
*You go to the club and they don't want to see your I.D. card
*You have to purchase a Monday-Friday medicine pill box because you can't remember if you took your meds that day!
*Activia yogurt has become a daily regiment for you!
*Taking a daily nap is a schedule event!
*You got a part-time job and the manager is younger than you are!
*Your waiter asks if you would like to see the Senior's Menu!
*You buy your first Moo-Moo because it makes you look skinny! (plus you can be naked underneath it)
*You think the hottest actor of today is old enough to be your kid! or you could be arrested for statutory rape!
*Your dog stops following you around the house because he's even given up on where you're going!
*You have developed spelling dyslexia when you type now!
*Writing a blog is about the only way you're going to make new friends!
*You have to call your parents to check just to make sure they're still alive!
*You use chocolate as a replacement for estrogen!
*Your closet contains every era of fashion (60's, 70's, 80's, 90's etc...)!
*You know you're one day closer to death's door not the lottery!
*That whisker on your chin now has a friend!
*You finally realize you've been in a Mid-Life Crisis for the last 20 years!
*You start searching on eBay for a Tennis Ball Machine cause you can't throw the ball far enough for your dog!
*Your dog's breath is better than yours in the morning now!
*Your only hope for grandchildren is that your dog will have a litter!
*When Kathy Griffin is now on your A-List! (She's so God Damn Funny!)
*A brain fart is actually now a small aneurysm!
*Short term memory loss is your excuse now for everything you forgot to do that day!
Trust me I can think of ones all day long....LOL .....I'll add more daily as I think of them!
* Your idol as a kid is now dead!
* You were a kid and asked what a 8 track was and now you're being laughed at when you talk about cassettes and albums!
* A 5th grader really is smarter than you, so you watch the show to prove them wrong!
* You finally make it on the show Survivor and their is a 92% chance you'll be voted off first for being the oldest!
* When you watch the Bachelor and know you're his perfect match but you're too old for the show! (I see Cougarville in my future...shhh, don't tell my husband)
* You have to scoot forward and use your arms to help yourself off the chair or couch!
* Having sex you choose to be on the bottom to look younger, oppose to having your face fall on your partner! (try it with a mirror ladies...it's frightening!)
* The slogan "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up" turns into "Help, my boobs have fallen and they wont bounce back up!"
*You've owned the same dog for 35 yrs! (snoopy 1, snoopy 2, snoopy 3, etc....)
*You've colored your hair so many times, even you don't know what color it really is!
*You get to the grocery store and realize your wearing your sleepers!
*You're out with a girlfriend and her kids shopping and you get mistaken for their grandmother!
*You go to the club and they don't want to see your I.D. card
*You have to purchase a Monday-Friday medicine pill box because you can't remember if you took your meds that day!
*Activia yogurt has become a daily regiment for you!
*Taking a daily nap is a schedule event!
*You got a part-time job and the manager is younger than you are!
*Your waiter asks if you would like to see the Senior's Menu!
*You buy your first Moo-Moo because it makes you look skinny! (plus you can be naked underneath it)
*You think the hottest actor of today is old enough to be your kid! or you could be arrested for statutory rape!
*Your dog stops following you around the house because he's even given up on where you're going!
*You have developed spelling dyslexia when you type now!
*Writing a blog is about the only way you're going to make new friends!
*You have to call your parents to check just to make sure they're still alive!
*You use chocolate as a replacement for estrogen!
*Your closet contains every era of fashion (60's, 70's, 80's, 90's etc...)!
*You know you're one day closer to death's door not the lottery!
*That whisker on your chin now has a friend!
*You finally realize you've been in a Mid-Life Crisis for the last 20 years!
*You start searching on eBay for a Tennis Ball Machine cause you can't throw the ball far enough for your dog!
*Your dog's breath is better than yours in the morning now!
*Your only hope for grandchildren is that your dog will have a litter!
*When Kathy Griffin is now on your A-List! (She's so God Damn Funny!)
*A brain fart is actually now a small aneurysm!
*Short term memory loss is your excuse now for everything you forgot to do that day!
Trust me I can think of ones all day long....LOL .....I'll add more daily as I think of them!
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